Here's my story in MSN form, just for a change

Me: hi
Carloona: hi brad!
Me: you wouldn't believe my evening
Carloona: try me anyway
Me: Well, i finished work, and me Dave and Birgie went to Costco
Carloona: ok, so far believable
Me: so we get there and Dave decides to chill on the first floor looking at a new camera, and I wait with him
Me: anyway this has nothing to do with the story, Birgitta goes home
Carloona: still believable
Me: me and dave finish shopping have some dinner and head to the subway unnecessary overladen
Carloona: don't tell me you guys left your stuff on the subway
Me: so we're standing there and I check my pockets and wonder where my entire paycheck in cash is
Carloona: oh god
Me: after a frantic tearing through my stuff I realize it ain't anywhere there
Carloona: oh my god
Me: so I just leave everythin strewn next to the train with Dave and start sprinting, up outta there, outta the subway and off down the street, scanning and running.
Me: Eventually I realise I don't recognise anything so I assume I went the wrong way so I cross the street and start running back in the other direction
Me: then I spot Costco, I had run right past and then kept going about twice the distance again
Me: I dash across the 6 lane road
Me: and run into Costco
Me: the front gate is chained up and the staff are cleaning up
Carloona: and did you find it?
Carloona: aaaaaaaaaaaah
Me: Im looking at the bottoms of all the trolleys, and I run into the bathroom, not anywhere there
Me: so i run to the front desk and ask "English?"
Me: and she replies "Englishee"
Carloona: good enough
Me: apparently she doesn't she grabs the nearest guy, he speaks about the same English as my Winnies class
Me: I'm like I was just shopping here, I had a white Shittibank envelope with a lot of money in it
Me: and he looks at me half blankly and grabs the phone and starts calling around
Carloona: oh god
Me: about 4 or 5 calls later he passes me the phome
Me: and a guy says hi, I explain whats happened and he's like okay, put me back on with my staff member
Me: so I do, they talk for thirty seconds
Me: and he gets out from behind his desk, I'm like what
Me: and he says something something elevator, and I have no idea so I follow him
Me: We go to the goods elevator which subsequently takes the longest 20 sec of my life to drop one floor
Me: He waves and yells at some guy and we go into the office where some guy is crawled under the desk reaching into their safe,
Carloona: ....!
Me: part 2 will cost you 39.95
Me: plus gst
Carloona: gst?
Me: silly americans
Carloona: phft.
Me: anyway, he comes out with my envelope and I almost kiss him, they ask for the normal, my name number and how much is in there
Me: fucken stoked
Carloona: jesus fucking christ brad.
Me: 1.7m won
Carloona: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
Carloona: tell me please you'll never be that BONEHEADED again
Me: pretty intense huh
Carloona: yah. and I wasn't even there